Awful Russian Soccer Player Hires Live Bear For Toddler Son’s Birthday Party
A disturbing story out of Russia has been rapidly spreading west in the last 24 hours. It involves a child’s birthday party recently thrown by 27-year-old Russian soccer player Kirill Kombarov, who is currently on loan from the Russian Premier League’s Spartak Moscow and playing for FC Torpedo Moscow.
Generally speaking, the children’s birthday festivities of foreign soccer players aren’t known to make headlines…well…anywhere…but Kombarov’s questionable (understatement of the century?) decision to hire a live bear to perform at his two-year-old son’s party has made him the exception to that rule.
According to multiple reports, Kombarov had seen the bear, which is part of the Stepan Nikulin circus and has appeared in a number of (likely horrifying) films, perform on television at some point and decided it was the perfect performer to make little Timofei’s birthday one to remember.
At least he succeeded on one level. What’s more memorable than being tied to a live bear in a Hannibal Lecter mask, surrounded by your whole family—Fight Club-style—while they cheer and take photos, right?
Unfortunately for Kombarov, he failed on every other level…like ever.
He failed on the parenting level because this isn’t just stupid, cruel and completely unnecessary, it’s also dangerous. In nature the No. 1 job of parents is to prevent their offspring from being eaten by larger animals—would a seal ever invite a polar bear to perform at its pup’s birthday? No. NO!
So congratulations Kirill Kombarov, you’re less qualified to raise your son than a seal.
He failed on a basic human decency level. It’s hard to imagine there are still parts of the world in which the site of that bear—broken, muzzled and wearing a stupid freaking tie—elicits smiles and laughter, rather than disgusted gasps and tearful disbelief.
So congratulations Russia, you continue to be the absolute worst.
Lastly, he failed on a PR level. Even if this sort of horrifying spectacle is commonplace in Vladimir Putin’s vodka-drenched apocalyptic hellhole, surely Kombarov has traveled enough to recognize it’s not the norm everywhere. And therefore probably shouldn’t have posted it to social media.Â
So congratulations again to Kirill Kombarov for being a complete idiot, just in general!
May you get eaten by your next cruelly constrained party performer.
