Kobe and Vanessa Bryant Are In Italy, Need To Get a Damn Room
Image courtesy of Zimbio
With the NBA playoffs in full swing and the Lakers having been out of the mix, basically since October, aging relic Kobe Bryant, who hasn’t played a meaningful game of basketball in two years, once again fled the country the moment the regular season ended.
For the second year in a row, Kobe and his wife Vanessa have retreated to Italy, where Kobe spent much of his childhood, to begin the offseason. Making it an annual affair, this year the Bryants are overseas celebrating their 14th wedding anniversary. They also stopped off in Pari for a few days.
Something worth celebrating, surely, considering they narrowly dodged divorce just two years ago. And there were probably some tense moments of marital strain back when the case Kobe’s alleged sexual assault was playing out publicly in 2004.
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While the Bryant’s dedication to their marriage is commendable, the Instagram chronicle of their cuddling and shopping tour of Italy is just a little bit ick. It’s over-the-top and annoying to the point that all you want for these two is to get a damn room (or go back to the one they surely already have) and stay there.
Indefinitely.
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This is obviously a staged photo op—they got dressed up like they were going to a black-tie gala, just to get their picture taken kissing on the street. Kobe, you’re better than this. Vanessa, I’m not sure that you are.
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Look how spontaneous Vanessa is!
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Here they are both spontaneously being spontaneous! All that’s missing is bunny ears.
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Original.
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Nothing like dropping $20k at Chanel and commemorating it wit a selfie on the street.
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And, naturally, the Bryants traveled back to the U.S. on a plane so private that the pillows had their initials embroidered in them. Jeezus that’s annoying.
Hopefully they go home and spend the rest of the summer indoors, so they can stop making the rest of us feel bad about our own lives.
