One Year After His Infamous Butt Fumble, Mark Sanchez Gets Cornrows
Friday marked the one-year anniversary of Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez’s infamous Butt Fumble. A momentous occasion that every single sports site on the web enjoyed reliving with the unbridled joy of a kid on Christmas.
Which is appropriate, given that America celebrated the Butt Fumble—one of the worst plays in NFL history—like a national holiday. So much so that ESPN finally felt compelled to retire the clip after 40 consecutive weeks topping their weekly Not Top Ten list.
There’s just something about Sanchize that is eminently mockable.
Actually, there are a lot of things about him that are punchline worthy. For one, he plays for the Jets. No offense Jets fans, but you know your franchise is pretty damn funny and it’s almost always by accident.
Then there’s his stats. And his bad dating decisions. And his pantsless dance parties. And his weird link to Rex Ryan’s very questionable tattoo. And pretty much anything he has ever said and done since being drafted in 2009.
Then, of course, there’s his hair.
Until recently, Sanchez wasn’t known as a risk-taker with his hair. He kept it pretty simple, sitting back and allowing his good looks to do the heavy lifting. Kinda like what he used to do with his defense when he still had a job. Bad dum tssshh!
But 2013 marked the dawning of a new age and the low point in Sanchize’s career to date. The Jets drafted Geno Smith out of WVU (presumably) to replace him, which has given him a lot more free time to get creative with his coiffe.
In May Sanchez amused the world by “channeling his inner soccer player.” His inner soccer player has absolutely nothing to do with player soccer and everything to do with slicking his hair back and always wearing a headband.
Sanchez remained shockingly committed to that look—it lasted a lot longer than any of his publicized relationships—before finally deciding to go in another direction this week. A dramatically different direction.
Wonder who he lost a bet to last time?
All bets aside, you’ve got to admire Sanchez’s confidence. Damn near everything he does makes him the subject of widespread public ridicule, but that doesn’t stop him from living his life.
He’s still having fun dressing like a weirdo, hanging with celebrities and collecting fat paychecks from the Jets for doing absolutely nothing.
Maybe…just maybe…the joke is on us?
Damn you, Sanchez! Damn you to hell.