If There is a God, Tonight Johnny Manziel Will Be Traded to the Cowboys
Image courtesy of Zimbio
It’s finally here. Mere hours from now NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, naturally met by a hilariously raucous chorus of boos, will walk out onto that stage in Chicago and officially announce the first round of the 2015 Draft has begun.
Mock drafts have been coming fast and furiously and the rumor mill has been buzzing around the clock. At this point all we’re talking about is speculation, and therefore not really getting into—especially when concrete answers are so close.
That being said, there is at least one rumor so tantalizing that it’s simply impossible not to speculate about just a little!
Though he ended up falling to the Browns, whose owner selected him No. 22 overall on the advice of a homeless man, former Heisman winning quarterback Johnny Manziel was still the biggest star of last year’s draft. And the further he fell, the bigger the spotlight beating down on him became.
Many observers were surprised to see Manziel make it beyond the 16th pick, which belonged to the Cowboys. Owner Jerry Jones and Johnny Football seemed like a match made in (media) heaven—Jones loves the circus and Manziel brings it with him everywhere he goes.
Jones certainly thought so. As the story goes, as told by author Jim Dent, Jones was so wrapped up in ‘Manziel Mania’ that he was about to turn in a draft card with the Texas A&M standout’s name on it until his son literally grabbed it out of his hand before he could turn it in.
Now it’s fair to say that Manziel’s first season in Cleveland was an abject disaster. He barely played, and when he was on the field he was awful. Then he went down with a season-ending injury, threw a party, got himself and teammates in trouble, and capped it all off with a months-long stint in rehab.
During the offseason Jones decided to speak publicly about the need to address the long-term plans for the quarterback position in Dallas, considering Tony Romo’s rapidly advancing age. And considering Jones’ penchant for bad decision making and the believable Browns desire to unload Manziel, rumors that the Cowboys could somehow acquire Manziel aren’t hard to entertain.
They’re certainly entertaining to entertain.
Unfortunately, as is often the case when it comes to rumors, for every report suggesting the move is possible, there’s another insisting it’s not. But for once, let’s all be ‘glass half-full’ people and assume this is an actual possibility. Those lazy summer months can get a little dull sports-wise, permanently parking the circus outside AT&T Stadium in Arlington would be the perfect respite.
If God truly exists, the only thing I know for sure about him is that he hates the Cowboys. And since the world is a dangerously growing clusterfuck, it’s time that dude threw humanity a bone.
