Donald Sterling’s Apology Sucks Almost As Much As Donald Sterling

Donald Sterling, probably perusing his Klan newsletter.

Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling has been in the center of a shit storm of his own making since audio of an unforgivably racist conversation between he and ex-silly little rabbit (her words, not mine) V. Stiviano leaked just over two weeks ago.

Sterling, who has an ugly history of discriminatory housing practices and various other random acts of racism, can be heard chastising her for associating with “black people.” His “concern” stemmed from a photo of Stiviano and Magic Johnson which she had posted to Instagram.

The fallout for Sterling was swift. Overnight he became one of the most hated men in America and within days NBA commissioner Adam Silver had announced Sterling had been banned for life from the league and that a plan to force the sale of the team was in place.

Mr. and Mrs. Sterling.
Not pictured is V. Stiviano: Supposed Assistant/Silly Little Rabbit

Although Stiviano was quick to embrace her 15 minutes, agreeing to a painfully awkward and weird interview with Barbara Walters, Sterling’s silence on the matter has been deafening. Or it was until he finally agreed to a sit-down interview with CNN’s stone cold silver fox Anderson Cooper.

With Sterling gearing up to fight the NBA and retain possession of the Clippers, it seemed reasonable to assume he’d fight against his nature and attempt to at least act contrite and apologetic in the interview, which aired Monday evening on CNN. Lest we forget, this is not a reasonable man.

Forget contrite and apologetic, Sterling was defiant, accusatory and just plain mean. His basic message being, “sorry if your little baby ears were offended by my racist tirade, but I’m not a racist and it wasn’t even my fault because bitch set me up.”

That’s right, he took a page out of the Marion Barry book with that one.

Referring specifically to offending Lakers great Magic Johnson with his hateful words Sterling said, “Well if I said anything wrong I’m sorry.”

Seriously—did he just say if he said anything wrong? Nonsensical explanations and reasoning aside, the fact that he absolutely said something wrong is without question outside the cloudy mind of an 80-year-old racist.

Sterling continued his “apology,” but it didn’t get much better. “He’s a good person. What am I going to say? Has he done everything he can do to help minorities? I don’t think so. But I’ll say it, he’s great. But I just don’t think he’s a good example for the children of Los Angeles.”

Seriously—did he just say Magic Johnson is a bad example who hasn’t done enough for minorities? Wow.

Unfortunately, he didn’t star stop there. Sterling continued, “What has he done? Can you tell me? Big Magic Johnson, what has he done? He’s got AIDS. Did he do any business? Did he help anybody in South LA? … What kind of guy goes to every city and has sex with every girl and catches AIDS?”

And he just kept going. And going. And going.

“What kind of guy goes to every city, has sex with every girl, then he goes and catches HIV. Is that someone we want to respect and tell our kids about? I think he should be ashamed himself. I think he should go into the background. And what does he do for black people. He hasn’t done anything.

Here’s a man I don’t know if I should say this, he acts so holy. He made love with every girl in every city in America, and he had AIDS, and when he had those AIDS, I went to my synagogue and I prayed for him. I hoped he could live and be well. I didn’t criticize him. I could have. Is he an example for children? You know, because he has money, he’s able to treat himself. But Magic Johnson is irrelevant in this thing. He didn’t do anything harmful to anybody and I respect him and I admire everything that he does. I’d like to help even more if he would offer me an opportunity to help. I like to help minorities.”

As for why he said what he said, Sterling placed the blame on Stiviano, who he said “baited” him. In another recording that surfaced last week he said his words were spoken out of jealousy because, “The girl is black. I like her. I’m jealous that she’s with other black guys. I want her. So what the hell, can I private tell her, you know ‘I don’t want you to be with anybody?’”

Sterling continues to paint himself as the victim, claiming he was preyed upon by a young woman and deluded himself into thinking she really cared for him. “I don’t know,” he said to Cooper, “An 80-year-old man is kind of foolish, and I’m kind of foolish. … I just wish I could ask her why, and if she was just setting me up.”

Maintaining he doesn’t have a racist bone in his body, Sterling said, “I mean, that’s not the way I talk. I don’t talk about people for one thing, ever. I talk about ideas and other things. I don’t talk about people.” The only problem being that he does talk like that. How else do you explain him…talking like that?

He really is delusional if he thinks people are going to believe that this is the first time in 80 years that he’s ever said something like that. That’d be like Sterling waking up one day and starting a casual meth habit. At that age, you are who you are. You either have a meth habit or you don’t. You’re either a racist or you’re not.

Seriously, dude?

As laughable as everything Sterling said to Cooper was, the biggest spit-take came when he addressed his status within the NBA. Well, second biggest after the Magic Johnson AIDS rant, which was so stunning that it didn’t even feel like real life.

Said Sterling, “I’m a good member who made a mistake and I’m apologizing and I’m asking for forgiveness. Am I entitled to one mistake, am I after 35 years? I mean, I love my league, I love my partners. Am I entitled to one mistake? It’s a terrible mistake, and I’ll never do it again.”

Seriously—did he just say one mistake?

What about that time he apologized to Magic Johnson by saying he’s a terrible role model because he has AIDS. Someone needs to tell Sterling that just because he’s had decades-long success in paying people off with undisclosed settlements doesn’t mean those things never happened.

The women he’s sexually harassed still exist. Elgin Baylor still exists. The people he had mercilessly evicted and those he intentially drove away from his rental properties still exist. Magic Johnson still exists. And Scott Sterling, his late son, may not still exist, but the actions of a father who enabled the lifestyle that resulted in a 31-year-old dying from a drug overdose do.

Donald Sterling is either lying or in complete denial—and let’s be real, he’s definitely lying. Either way he is simply not capable of righting this wrong. This interview offered definitive proof that the only person he’s sincerely sorry for is himself.

Let’s hope this is the second to last chapter in the grotesque story of Donald Sterling’s tenure in the NBA, concluding with him being dispelled from both the league and the public consciousness, never to be heard from again.