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Donald Trump Scores Coveted Lou Holtz Endorsement

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Images via Zimbio

Images via Zimbio

As Donald Trump continues his hateful screaming slither towards the White House, leaving a putrid orange slime trail all across this nation, he’s added yet another political bellwether to his growing list of endorsements. A list that includes behemoths like Tila Tequila, Hulk Hogan, Stephen Baldwin, Kid Rock, Mike Tyson and, of course, Gary Busey.

Having already secured the endorsement of the legendarily belligerent coach Bobby Knight—who, incidentally, Bloomberg recently dubbed Trump’s spirit animal—going into the Indiana primary Tuesday he was touting another that of another coach who is apparently thought fondly of in the Hoosier State.

Most recently fired by ESPN, which presumably only hired him as part of an elaborate (and hilarious) ploy to torture Mark May, Lou Holtz coached Notre Dame football for over a decade before mysteriously bailing on the Irish in 1996. Tragically hokey on the surface, Holtz’s coaching career ended in disgrace at South Carolina in 2004.

Annnnyway.

This week Holtz pulled his old ND gear out of his ghosts of careers past trunk, donning a distinctively old man windbreaker in his predictably nonsensical and wholly off topic Trump testimonial. Actually, the endorsement did touch on the blowhard billionaire’s supposed qualifications to be president of the United States.

“The main reason I’m endorsing him: I’ve played his golf course [and] I’ve stayed in his hotel,” Holtz gushed about Trump’s penchant for solid gold toilets. “He does nothing but go first class in everything, he wants this country to be first class as well.”

Soooo yeah. That happened.

Expect Lou Holtz to be on hand with a custom fight song (like the well-received diddy he wrote as coach of the Jets and forced the team to sing) written for the occasion when Donald Trump names Paris Hilton as his running mate next month.

Since having one’s name on a hotel and dickishly demanding everything be first class are the most presidential of qualities, surely Hilton would be an excellent choice.

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